Hey

Five years.

I've been on this site for five years and what do I have to show? A bunch of 'lol randumb' content, bad doodles, old memes, cringeworthy journals with horrible grammer, and uninteresting Garry's Mod screenshots. Yeah, kind of a shit show, I know.

I don't know why I bother coming back to this. I come here, say a false promise, then vanish for some more years. I may or may not leave a small doodle with noticeable improvements, and I may not leave a journal within DA's confusing interface for two, maybe three people to look at.

I've been looking back at all the stuff I've been uploading throughout the years and to say I am disappointed in my past self is an understatement. This is that moment. You know that moment. The moment when you look back at the blog you made when you were twelve and you say to yourself, "God damn, I was so stupid back then". This is my old blog moment. The moment where I look back on the stuff I've been doing since I myself was twelve and instantly regret it. All the incorrect grammer, the stupid GIFs, the outdated memes that still get favorited to this day, the anatomically immpossible doodles of girls, the stupid promise of me, a middle school boy, making a epic video game, and God knows what else. This was the stuff that is on this account. The stuff I've abandoned for years because of a lack of motivation and the need to forget it all. And yet I'm back again, ready to appear and disappear on an almost bi-annual basis.

What I am trying to say is, I'm here for nostalgic purposes. I was so excited to be on here, to show the world my "excellent talent" and for people to come back wanting more.

But that never happened.

Instead this website became the equivalent to my daily newspaper. I go on here to see what great art that my favorite artist's put out on an almost daily basis and then continue with life. I don't worry about weither or not my horrible doodle got front page, or if my forum post got all the likes or whatever. I log on, see my notifications, browse the front page, and log out.

In a retrospective kind of way, I've grown up for the last five years or so. I've finshed school, got a car, lost my virginity to a sweetheart I'll never meet again, got a job, met my best friend, did a bunch of drinking and smoking, got a crummy apartment that I'm trying to make the best of, and now I'm trying to find a lady to grow old with me. I haven't touched the submit button in over two years and I'm not losing any sleep because of it.

And I wouldn't have asked for anything better.